"Using and drinking was fun.... until it wasn't. At first it was like an innocent crush, a childish romance. Before I knew it, I had fallen in a love that I had no business meddling in, a love that took me further away from myself. I had been warned, but I was different. I could handle it. In the beginning it was a warm tingling sensation, a guaranteed escape. An innocent normal way to deal with my life. (Which was far from perfect) I had a friend I could trust, or so I thought. Using became the biggest illusion, and a horrific nightmare I thought I would never wake up from. I was trapped. Anything I knew to be true was slowly turning on me, and I kept looking for the next strongest instant relief from the chaos I didn't realize I was creating, or had control over. My life had fallen apart, and once I realized it, I felt like the floor had come out from under me, and the darkness was crushing. I had awoken a demon inside of myself that I never even knew was there. My best friend, and one true love had betrayed me. I was falling into an abyss with no way out. At least it felt that way to me. I was in a self made negative place, yet it somehow was everyone else's fault. I was reaching out, waiting to be pulled from the depths of my self made hell."