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This interview first appeared in the CT Examiner for the column Unconventional Love, August 2024. Interview conducted by Dr. Elizabeth Busbee. (Dr. Busbee writes a weekly column on sex and relationships and holds a PhD in Anthropology from Yale University.) This is the uncut version of the interview
How do you define boudoir photography?
So the classic version of it is a style featuring intimate, sensual, romantic, and sometimes erotic images of its subjects in a photographic studio, bedroom or private dressing room environment. I partially agree with that, the part I disagree with is the second half. I feel that the style has evolved a bit over the years and a lot of people I have had as clients like to take that intimate style and bring it outside of the bedroom and into nature because being in the forest away from the hustle and bustle of every day life is more comfortable for them and holds the same type of emotive response. I like to look at it in an artistic sense where I view it as capturing intimate and vulnerable moments because those moments are truly poetry in motion.
Do you use special lighting or photography techniques to capture the look you want?
It all depends on what the client is looking for. If someone is looking for a more intimate looking shot I tend to use softer lighting or natural lighting. If they are looking for something creative or that has a darker aspect to it I will go to colored lighting a lot of times, but personally I always feel natural lighting is the best when possible. As far as technique, I personally go by the vibe. A lot of photographers follow the “rules” of photography to a T, I feel that when it comes about more naturally though and the people aren’t forcing poses that the final product is a thousand times better.
Who would be interested in this type of service? Is it primarily couples wanting photos for themselves?
Usually a lot of times it is someone trying to get an intimate present for their partner or couples wanting to do something together that they don’t do all of the time. Over the years however, I have seen a huge increase of shoots of this nature for content creators with the rise of OnlyFans and it may come as a surprise to some people, but a lot of people decide to do a shoot of this nature because they want to feel better about their self image. It isn’t something you have to be a professional model to do. I personally look at it as creating a piece of art. Every human body is filled with beauty, flaws and all. A photographer with the right eye brings that beauty out and shows the client a side of themselves they may have a hard time seeing normally.
How do you handle client privacy and safety?
I work a lot in the kink scene so privacy is a big thing with a lot of the photoshoots I do. When I am contacted by potential clients for a shoot of this nature, one of the first things I do is find out how they want to continue communication when discussing details of it. If they would like to use a fake name, where they would feel most comfortable doing it, if they would like it left out of any portfolios of mine, etc. I also encourage them to ask questions and make sure everything for the shoot is negotiated ahead of time.
Safety is a HUGE concern when it comes to doing a photoshoot of this nature and I can not stress it enough. If you are thinking of doing one, always go to a reputable photographer and ask for references. There are a lot of “photographers” out there that offer this service and try to use it as a pickup service which is a big problem. If it is your first time doing one with a photographer, always bring someone with you. If they have a problem with that it is a huge red flag. I also suggest if it is a freelance photographer and not a professional studio to meet with them in person in a public area so that you can feel out the vibe. Always trust your gut, if you get a bad feeling or feel they have unprofessional motives trust it.
What do you think people get out of this sort of photoshoot? What’s the motivation?
People want to feel good about themselves and have a positive body image and I feel that is a lot of what they get out of it. You can look in the mirror and see one thing, but it isn’t the same as being able to look at a photo where you have your beauty highlighted and can be a constant reminder on your off days that you are in fact beautiful. Other reasons people can be motivated as I said in the previous question is as a gift for a significant other, a way to be intimate with a partner in a way you don’t get to every day or for financial reasons if they are a content creator.
Can you share some selfie tips for helping women feel sexy and confident?
So I personally am not a big selfie person, so for this question I polled some of the models I work with and here are some of the tips they all agreed on -
*Use natural lighting, it is almost always ends up being more flattering.
*Take multiple shots and learn your angles. When you have a bunch to look at from different angles you will quickly see which ones come out looking best.
*Keep the mindset that it is about celebrating yourself and not about perfection. Be yourself and always remind yourself that you can delete any you don’t like without anyone seeing them.
I would just like to add to this, love yourself! Everyone has flaws, everyone has things they wish were different about themselves, but love yourself for who you are. Our society tends to make people feel if they don’t look like this or that then they aren’t sexy or beautiful, but our uniqueness and individuality is what really brings that out!